Sta.sh
Airport Goodbyes
by ~SkyBlueTattooI know
That for every
Unshed tear
Pooling in my belly
Ten more await
To lick their way
Down my cheeks.
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#PoetsandWritersAirport Goodbyesby ~SkyBlueTattooI know That for every Unshed tear Pooling in my belly Ten more await To lick their way Down my cheeks. |
| Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse | ©2010-2012 ~SkyBlueTattoo |
I'm not used to writing short poems, or poems without any punctuation, so I'm curious what you think of this style. Do you think it adds impact, and helps the words stand out, or does it take away from the poem? Also, is there enough emotion even though it's so short?
Playground doodles My page flutters as my hair whips itself into aPlayground doodles by ~SkyBlueTattoo
Lustful game of tag with the cool breeze.
The air is filled with the rich smell of
Woodland river and
Your quiet musings on the piano.
The playground shadows
Stretch as the day passes,
Leaving us behind in our
Frozen fantasy.
Confession I have a confession:Confession by ~SkyBlueTattoo
I stole your sunglasses.
[I'm sorry. I just wanted to see through your eyes.]
Untamed The scream tore its way from my lips,Untamed by ~SkyBlueTattoo
Threw my head back,
And heaved my chest to the sky.
It cracked my breastbone,
Shattered my ribs,
And shoved my lungs aside,
All in search of my heart,
Which it clawed at desperately
Before ripping from my chest,
And whispering away to the wind.
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hey! i don't usually read poems but this was short so i decided to give it a go. and it's really fantastic as it is, short yet to the point, and the imagery works. i like how you described the tears rolling down the cheeks :>
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"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world."
--Albert Einstein.
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#Painting-Abstract
#Pain-Poetry
#Buildings-Photos
The poem was short, but you conveyed how people say goodbye at airports very well and how short those moments are. I really liked it!
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"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world."
--Albert Einstein.
I like it as well, I like the play of words as: "Pooling in my belly"
As for the last verse ..
"Ten more await to
Lick their way"
I'd put the word "to" on the last line.. it has a nice flow as you read, line by line, but the last two seem as they have to be read together.. if that makes sense
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Yes, you're right, I like it much better that way.
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"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world."
--Albert Einstein.
This poem is almost perfect as it is. It's a beautiful image, put in a refreshing and meaningful way. To be nitpicky, I would rebreak the first two lines of the last stanza as 'Ten more await / To lick their way.' 'To' is a rather poor word to end on; why waste a perfectly good and avocative word like 'await' in the middle of the line?
Wonderful piece.
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